SELF%CONTROL+
+
Introduction+
!
There!was!once!a!young!man!from!Brooklyn!who!showed!signs!of!being!a!promising!
baseball!pitcher.!He!could!throw!so!hard!that!he!made!the!ball!hiss,!and!his!curve!
ball!seemed!to!drop!off!a!table,!so!sharp!was!the!break.!
!
The! Dodgers! baseball! club! saw! promise! in! this! young! man! and! signed! him! to! a!
contract.! But! after! two! or! three! years! there! was! a! striking! disparity! between! his!
promised!potential!and!his!mediocre!performance;!he!lost!at!least!as!many!games!as!
he!won.!He!had!a!great! fastball,!he!had!a!fantastic!curve!ball,!but!what!he!didn’t!have!
was!control:!for!every! batter!he!struck!out!he!might!walk! another!two!or!three,!then!
he!might!throw!the!ball!down!the!middle!of!the!plate!and! the!next!batter!would!hit!it!
out! of! sight.! One! day! his! catcher! sat! down! with! him! and! taught! him! the! secret! of!
control.! After! that,! Sandy! Koufax! became! a! Hall! of! Fame! pitcher;! some! say! the!
greatest!pitcher!of!all!time.!Without!control,!his!talent!was!wasted,!his!performance!
was!mediocre,!and!his!career!was!in!jeopardy.!
!
Scripture!teaches!that! without! self‐control! over!your!life!the!consequences!are! far!
worse!than!those!experienced!by!Sandy!Koufax!before!he!learned!control:!“He$whose$
spirit$is$without$restraint$is$like$a$city$whose$walls$are$broken$down”!(Prov.!25:28.)!A!
city!broken!down!and!without!walls!is!defenseless;!it!is!vulnerable!to!being!attacked!
by! wild! beasts! and! pillaged! by! enemy! armies.! Likewise,! if! your! spirit! (that! which!
governs! your! words! and! actions)! is! not! under! control,! you! will! be! vulnerable! to!
many!sinful!and!foolish!deeds!that!will!cause!you!a!great!deal!of!regret.!Let!us!now!
give! our! attention! to! this! next! topical! study! from! the! Book! of! Proverbs! on! the!
subject!of!self‐control.!
!
I.+Exercise+Self%Control+Over+Your+Temper++
+++(Proverbs+16:32;+Proverbs+29:11;+Proverbs+19:11)!!!!!
!
!"#$%&#'(#()&$#*&#+,-".#'(#-."+*".#*%+,#*%"#/'-%*01#+,2#%"#$%&#3&,*.&)(#%'(#
(4'.'*#'(#-."+*".#*%+,#%"#$%&#3&,56".(#+#3'*07+(Prov.!16:32)!
+
The!mightiest!man!and!the!greatest!conqueror!is!the!one!who!can!master!his!own!
passions,!the!one!who!exercises!self‐control.!A!great!conqueror!who!was!unable!
to!control!his!own!passions!was!Peter!the!Great!of!Russia!(1672‐1725),!one!of!the!
outstanding!rulers!in!Russian!history.!By!the!time!of!his!death,!Russia!was!a!great!
and! growing! power! ready! to! play! a! major! role! in! European! affairs.! But! Peter!
could! not! conquer! and! control! his! own! passions;! he! was! subject! to! fits! of! rage!
during! which! time! he! lost! all! self‐control,! usually! becoming! brutally! violent.! At!
such!times!the!lives!of!those!around!him!were!not!safe.!It!was!necessary!to!post!a!
guard! at! his! door! to! prevent! anyone! from! approaching! him.! Peter! himself!
remarked,! “I! can! govern! my! people,! but! how! can! I! govern! myself?”! (Europe! by!
Robert!Ergang,!Vol.2,!p.444!and!Proverbs!by!Charles!Bridges,!footnote!on!p.251.)!
The!man!who!is!slow!to!anger!(i.e.,!the!man!who!controls!his!anger)!is!better,!or!
greater,! than! the! mighty;! he! displays! a! God‐like! character:! “Jehovah$ is$ merciful$
and$gracious,$()&$#*&#+,-".$and$abounding$in$lovingkindness”!(Psl.!103:8.)!
!
8# 9&&)#":4."(("(#+))#%'(#+,-".1#;6*#+#$'("#/+,#%&)2(#'*#;+3<#+,2#3+)/(#%'/(")97+
(Prov.!29:11)!
!
A! fool! fails! to! exercise! self‐control! and! self‐restraint;! if! something! upsets! him!
(such! as! an! injustice! or! a! disappointment,)! he! is! quick! to! express! his! anger.! He!
gives! free! reins! to! that! anger! and! allows! it! to! carry! him! away! with! reckless!
abandon!like! a!team!of!wild!horses!pulling!a!run!away!chariot!to!everyone’s! peril.!
As!Proverbs!12:16!states,!“A$fool$immediately$makes$known$what$irritates$him,$but$
a$prudent$man$overlooks$an$insult.”!A!fool!thinks!that!the!annoyance!or!injustice!
that!is!vexing!him!is!so!great!and!so!heavy!to!bear!that!he!must!express!himself!
and!unleash!his!indignation!and!anger,!as!Proverbs!27:3!expresses!it,!“A$stone$is$
heavy$and$sand$has$great$weight,$but$a$fool’s$vexation$is$heavier$than$both$of$them!”!!
!
But!a!wise!man!holds!back!his!anger!and!calms!it!down.!Literally,!“he$stills$it$in$the$
back.”$ He! senses! that! his! anger! or! frustration! is! mounting! and! he! immediately!
takes!preventive!measures!to!bring!it!under!control!before!it!breaks!forth!like!a!
geyser!and!controls!him.!The!wise!man!recognizes!when!the!pot!is!simmering!and!
is!approaching!the!boiling!point,!and!he!removes!it!from!the!flame!before!it!boils!
over.!
!
8#/+,=(#2'(3."*'&,#/+<"(#%'/#()&$#*&#+,-".1#+,2#'*#'(#%'(#-)&.0#*&#&>".)&&<#+,#
&99",("7+(Prov.!19:11)!
+
That!which!makes!a!man!slow!to!anger,!and!what!helps!him!to!control!his!anger,!
is!his! discretion.! Discretion,!or! discernment,! is!the! ability! to!analyze,! anticipate,!
and!then!apply!biblical!counsel!to!a!given!situation.!
!
The! wise! and! godly! man! remembers! the! biblical! word! of! warning:! “Do$ not$ be$
quickly$provoked$in$your$spirit,$for$anger$rests$in$the$bosom$of$fools”!(Eccl.!7:9.)!The!
Psalmist!regretfully!writes!about!the!awful!consequence!Moses!suffered!when!he!
failed! to! exercise! self‐control! over! his! anger:! “By$ the$ waters$ of$ Meribah$ they$
angered$ him,$ and$ trouble$ came$ upon$ Moses$ because$ of$ them;$
33
for$ they$ rebelled$
against$his$Spirit,$and$rash$words$came$from$[Moses’]$lips”$(Psl.!106:32‐33.)!This!is!
a! reference! to! the! time! when! Moses! lashed! out! in! anger! against! the! people! of!
Israel! when! they! cried! out! for! water! in! the! wilderness,! and! he! suffered! the!
consequence!for!his!rash!behavior!(Num.!20:1‐13.)!
!
The! wise! and! godly! man! remembers! the! biblical! word! of! wisdom:! “Everyone$
should$be$quick$to$listen,$slow$to$speak$and$slow$to$become$angry;$
20
for$man’s$wrath$
does$not$bring$about$the$righteousness$of$God”!(Jam.!1:19‐20.)!The!wise!and!godly!
man! recognizes! that! what! brings! honor! and! glory! and! dignity,! as! opposed! to!
shame!and!regret!and!disgrace,!is!to!“overlook$an$offense.”$To!“overlook$an$offense”!
this!means!either!to!practice!forbearance!or!to!extend!forgiveness,!in!both!cases!
leaving!justice!and!retribution!to!God.!!
!
The! counsel!of!Proverbs!is:!Exercise!self‐control!over!your!temper.!Do!so,! first,!by!
maintaining!a!biblical!perspective!on!justice!and!injustice.!Do!not!be!surprised!to!
encounter! injustice! and! to! be! treated! unjustly! in! this! world.! As! Proverbs! 13:23!
observes,!“A$ poor$ man’s$ field$may$produce$ abundant$ food,$but$injustice$ sweeps$ it$
away.”+The!cultivating!of!the!land!can!produce!an!ample!amount!of!food,!but!it!is!
injustice!that!deprives!the!poor!of!their!necessary!food.!We!must!remember!that!
the! LORD! Himself! is! the! true! source! of! justice! and! the! final! Administrator! of!
justice:!“Many$seek$ an$ audience$with$the$ruler,$ but$ it$is$from$Jehovah$ that$ a$man$
receives$justice.”$
$
Secondly,! we! must! maintain! a! biblical! perspective! on! disappointment! and!
adversity.!Rather!than!be!surprised!by!such!occurances!and!become!embittered!
by! them,! we! must! submit! unto! the! will! of! God! and! wait! to! see! His! hand! and!
purpose,!as!did!Joseph:!!
$
When$ Joseph’s$ brothers$ saw$ that$ their$ father$ was$ dead,$ they$ said,$ It$ may$ be$
that$Joseph$ will$ hate$us,$ and$ will$fully$ repay$ us$for$all$ the$ evil$that$ we$ did$to$
him.$
16
So$ they$ sent$ a$ message$ to$ Joseph,$ saying,$ “Before$ he$ died,$ your$ father$
gave$ this$ command,$
17
‘This$ is$ what$ you$ are$ to$ say$ to$ Joseph,$ I$ ask$ you$ now,$
please$forgive$your$brothers’$transgression$and$sin$in$doing$you$wrong.’$Now,$
we$beg$you,$forgive$the$transgression$of$the$servants$of$the$God$of$your$father.”$
Joseph$ wept$ when$ they$ spoke$ to$ him.$
18
His$ brothers$ also$ came$ and$ fell$ down$
before$his$face;$and$they$said,$“Look,$we$are$your$servants.”$
19
And$?&("4%#(+'2#
*&#*%"/1#@A"+.#,&*B# 9&.#+/#C#',#*%"#4)+3"# &9#D&2E$
20
8(#9&.#0&61#0&6# /"+,*#
">')#+-+',(*#/"B#;6*#D&2#/"+,*#'*#9&.#-&&2,$to$accomplish$what$is$now$being$
done,$namely,$the$saving$of$many$lives.”!(Gen.!50:15‐20)!!
!
Let! us! also! put! our! confidence! in! the! assurance! given! by! the! Apostle! Paul:! “we$
know$that$all$things$work$together$for$good$for$those$who$love$God,$ those$who$have$
been$called$according$to$his$purpose”!(Rom.!8:28.)!
!
Exercise! self‐control! over! your! temper! by! practicing! discernment,! asking! the!
question,! “What! is! causing! me! to! become! angry?”! Is! it! justifiable! for! me! to! be!
angry?!If!so,!you!must!handle!that!anger!in!a!biblical!manner:!"'Be$angry,$but$do$
not$sin.’$Do$not$let$the$sun$set$on$your$anger;$
27
do$not$give$a$place$to$the$devil”!(Eph.!
4:26‐27.)! ! It! is! legitimate! to! express! your! righteous! anger,! but! do! not! retain! it,!
allowing!it!to!settle!into!bitterness,!for!to!do!so!would!be!to!allow!the!devil!to!gain!
control!of!your!spirit.!Having!expressed! your!anger,!turn!it!over!to!the!Holy!Spirit.!
Is!it!not!justifiable!for!me!to!be!angry!in!this!matter?!Is!my!anger!caused!by!envy!
or! jealousy! or! some! other! ungodly! motive?! If! so,! you! must! release! both! your!
anger! and! the! unholy! motivation! for! your! anger! to! the! LORD,! asking! for! His!
forgiveness!and!redeeming!grace.!
!
II.++Exercise+Self%Control+Over+Your+Tongue++
++++++(Proverbs+17:27;+Proverbs+20:25)+++
!
!"# $%&# (4+."(# %'(# $&.2(# %+(# <,&$)"2-"1# +,2# %"# $%&# %+(# +# 3&&)# (4'.'*# '(# +#
/+,#&9#6,2".(*+,2',-7+(Prov.!17:27)!
!
A! wise! man! controls! his! tongue.! He! takes! into! consideration! the! warning! of!
Proverbs!10:19,!“In$the$multitude$of$words$there$is$no$lack$of$transgression,$but$he$
who$ refrains$ from$ speaking$ acts$ wisely.”$ Even! words! that! are! true! need! not!
always!be!uttered:!“There$is$one$who$speaks$rashly,$like$the$piercing$of$a$sword;$
but$the$tongue$of$the$wise$brings$healing”!(Prov.!12:18.)!Careless!words,!in!their!
ability! to! inflict! harm,! are! compared! to! the! wounds! inflicted! by! a! sword;! but,!
conversely,! the! wise! man! knows! how! to! speak! words! that! bring! healing! and!
health! to! the! soul.! Proverbs! 17:28! further! reinforces! this! truth:! “Even$ a$ fool,$
when$ he$ holds$ his$ peace,$ is$ thought$ to$ be$ wise;$ when$ he$ shuts$ his$ lips$ he$ is$
considered$ as$ being$ prudent.”! Even! a! fool,! when! he! keeps! his! mouth! shut,! is!
considered!to!be!a!wise!man.!
!
Consider!Proverbs!21:23,!“Whoever$controls$his$mouth$and$his$tongue,$guards$his$
soul$ from$ trouble.”! As! the! commentator! Matthew! Henry! states! it,! “[He]! who!
thinks!twice!before!he!speaks!once,!keeps!his!soul!from!a!great!deal!of!guilt!and!
grief!and!saves!himself!the!trouble!of!many!bitter!reflections.”!Before!speaking,!
we!should!ask!ourselves!such!questions!as!these:!Is!what!I!am!about!to!say!true?!
Is! what! I! am! about! to! say! necessary?! Is! what! I! am! about! to! say! motivated! by!
godly!motives!or!sinful!motives?!
!
Let! us! be! careful! to! heed! the! word! of! Scripture! as! recorded! in! James! 1:26,! “If$
anyone$considers$himself$to$be$religious$and$yet$does$not$keep$a$tight$rein$on$his$
tongue,$he$deceives$himself$and$his$religion$is$worthless.”!!
!
C*#'(#+#(,+."# 9&.#+#/+,#*&#.+(%)0#(+01#@C#2"2'3+*"#*%'(#*&#D&21F# +,2#&,)0#)+*".#*&#
3&,('2".#%'(#>&$(7+(Prov.!20:25)!
+
The! situation! described! in! this! proverb! is! as! follows:! A! man! thoughtlessly,!
irresponsibly! and! impulsively! dedicates! something! to! God;! then! he! later!
considers!his!action,!asking,!‘Was!this!a!wise!vow!to!make?!It!is!a!vow!that!I!am!
able! and! willing! to! fulfill?”! Note! the! following! biblical! example! of! such!
shortsighted,!impulsive!speech:!
!
And$Jephthah$made$a$vow$to$Jehovah:$If$ you$give$the$Ammonites$into$my$hands,$
31
whatever$ comes$ out$ of$ the$ door$ of$ my$ house$ to$ meet$ me$ when$ I$ return$ in$
triumph$from$the$Ammonites$will$belong$to$Jehovah,$and$I$will$sacrifice$it$as$a$
burnt$offering.$….
34
When$Jephthah$returned$to$his$home$in$Mizpah,$who$should$
come$out$to$meet$him$but$his$daughter,$dancing$to$the$sound$of$tambourines!$
She$was$an$only$child.$Except$for$her$he$had$neither$son$nor$daughter.$
35
When$
he$saw$her,$he$tore$his$clothes$and$cried,$“Oh!$My$daughter!$You$have$made$me$
miserable$and$wretched,$because$I$have$made$a$vow$to$Jehovah$that$I$cannot$
break.”!(Judg.!11:30‐31,!34‐35)!
!
The!Word!of!God!urges!us!to!think!carefully!before!we!make!a!vow!to!God!(or!a!
promise,)!because!God!holds!us!responsible!to!fulfill!our!obligations!and!to!keep!
our! word:! “When$ a$ man$ makes$ a$ vow$ to$ Jehovah$ or$ takes$ an$ oath$ to$ obligate$
himself$by$a$pledge,$he$must$not$break$his$word$but$must$do$everything$he$said”!
(Num.!30:2.)!!
!
The! counsel! of! Proverbs:! Exercise! self‐control! over! your! tongue.! Do! so! by!
realizing! that! careless! words! can! get! you! into! trouble.! Do! so! by! remembering!
that!God!holds!us!accountable!for!our!words!Our!Lord!Jesus!Christ!warns!us,!“I$
tell$ you$ that$ men$ will$ have$ to$ give$ account$ on$ the$ day$ of$ judgment$ for$ every$
careless$word$they$have$spoken;$
37
for$by$your$words$you$will$be$acquitted,$and$by$
your$words$you$will$be$ condemned”!(Matt.!12:36‐37.)!Do! so!by! asking!the!LORD!to!
guard!your!tongue:!“Set$a$guard$over$my$mouth,$O$Jehovah;$keep$watch$over$the$
doors$of$my$lips”!(Psl.!141:3.)!
!
III.++Exercise+Self%Control+Over+Your+Ambitions+and+Desires++
+++++++(Proverbs+21:5;+Proverbs+28:20)+++
!
G%"# 4)+,(# &9# *%"# 2')'-",*# *",2# *&# )"+2# &,)0# *&# 4.&9'*1# ;6*# ">".0&,"# $%&# '(#
%+(*0#$'))#&,)0#3&/"#*&#4&>".*07+(Prov.!21:5)!
!
The!contrast!is!between!well%thought+out+plans+pursued+with+diligence,!that!
lead!to!prosperity,!success!and!profit,!and+hastiness+(or,+impulsiveness),!that!
leads!to!want,!loss,!and!debt.!Impulsiveness!means!you!see!something!and!you!
immediately!rush!out!to!acquire!it;!later!you!wonder!if!you!really!wanted!it!or!
needed!it!or!even!like!it,!or!can!afford!it;!but!now!it!is!too!late,!you!possess!the!
item! and! are! responsible! to! pay! for! it.! Impatience! means! you! see! something,!
you!know!you!want!it,! and!you!refuse!to!wait!for!it,!you!feel!that!you!must!have!
it!immediately.!But!in!your!hastiness!you!may!have!incurred!a!premature!debt!
that!is!difficult!to!pay!and!you!may!regret!not!waiting!until!you!possessed!the!
financial!resources!to!purchase!the!desired!item!without!incurring!debt.!
!
This! proverb! is! describing! that! lack! of! self‐control! that! causes! us! to! seek! the!
immediate! enjoyment! of! the! benefits! of! industriousness,! frugality,! and! hard!
decision‐making! without! going! through! the! bother! of! investing! the! time,! the!
effort!and!the!planning!that!bring!about!such!benefits!and!make!them!possible.!
According!to!the!author!Douglas!Fairbanks,!
!
…!since!World!War!II!we!Americans!have!been!living!beyond!our!means.!We!
have!over!borrowed!and!over!consumed!and!overpaid!ourselves.!
!
…!Americans!are!putting!their!homes!into!deeper!debt,! second‐mortgaging!
to! pay! for! anything! from! pleasure! boats! to! vacation! trips,! in! essence!
financing!consumption!out!of!thin!air!rather!than!from!work!and!saving.!
!
The!owner!of!a!Denver!collection!agency!said,!“A!lot!of!people!we!see!now!
are!second‐!or!third‐generation!bad!debtors.!People!just!aren’t!used!to!living!
on! what! they! make! anymore.”! (Readers’$ Digest,! Nov.! ’87,! pp.123‐126,!
condensed!from!the!book,!Living$Beyond$Our$Means)!
!
The! consequence! of! such! impulsiveness! and! lack! of! self‐control! over! one’s!
ambitions!and!desires!is!either!a!burden!of!debt!(with!the!harsh!discipline!such!
debt!imposes,)!or!the!default!of!the!incurred!debt,!(which!can!be!viewed!under!
certain!circumstances!as!a!form!of!stealing—recklessly!incurring!debt!without!
the!means!to!repay!or!without!the!intent!to!repay!is!a!form!of!stealing.)!
+
8#9+'*%96)#/+,#$'))#;"#.'3%)0#;)"(("2B#;6*#+#/+,#$%&#'(#%+(*0#*&#-"*#.'3%#(%+))#
,&*#-&#6,46,'(%"27+(Prov.!28:20)!
+
“A$man$who$is$hasty$to$get$rich”+is!one! who!is!in! such!a!hurry! to!become!wealthy!
that! he! allows! that! overriding! ambition! to! break! through! the! bounds! of! self‐
control.!The!statement,!“[he]$shall$not$go$unpunished,”!indicates!that!the!man’s!
runaway! ambition! will! lead! him! to! pursue! his! goal! by! means! of! immoral! and!
unscrupulous! conduct,! and! he! will! not! escape! the! consequences! and! the!
accountability!for!such!conduct.!Bear!in!mind!the!warning!of!the!Apostle! Paul!
with!regard!to!the!unbridled!ambition!for!wealth:!
!
People$ who$ want$ to$ get$ rich$ fall$ into$ temptation$ and$ a$ trap$ and$ into$ many$
foolish$and$harmful$desires$that$plunge$men$into$ruin$and$destruction;$
10
for$the$
love$of$money$is$a$root$of$all$kinds$of$evil.$Some$people,$eager$for$money,$have$
wandered$from$the$faith$and$pierced$themselves$with$many$griefs.!(1!Tim.!6:9‐
10)!!
!
Conclusion+
!
In!Galatians!5:22‐23!we!are!informed!that!self‐control!is!one!of!the!fruits!of!the!Holy!
Spirit;! it! is! part! of! the! Christ‐like! character! the! Holy! Spirit! is! reproducing! in! the!
Christian’s!life:!“the$fruit$of$the$Spirit$is$love,$joy,$peace,$patience,$kindness,$goodness,$
integrity,$
23
meekness,$(")9H3&,*.&).”!!
!
The! Book! of! Proverbs! instructs! us! to! see! to! it! that! this! fruit! of! self‐control! is!
regulating! every! area! of! our! lives,! in! particular,! our! temper,! our! tongue,! and! our!
ambitions!and!desires.!
!